Beyond Stress Management

Why finding peace requires more than coping techniques

I hope all of you who were in the path of the recent storm are doing OK. In our town, many people are still trapped in their houses because they can’t get out of their icy driveways, and now its snowing again. Kim and I decided to postpone our trip up north to see my parents until all this ice melts, which will hopefully happen by the end of next week. In the meantime, this lull gives us a chance for more quiet time and reflection, which leads into the topic of today’s newsletter.

Finding greater peace in our lives is not easy. In my last newsletter, I mentioned diet and exercise, which have immediate physiological benefits, but which can also lay a foundation for taking additional steps toward deeper peace. Beyond food and movement, there are other steps, like streamlining our lives to minimize financial burdens, finding a purpose that makes us want to wake up each day, forming more social connections, getting restful sleep, and even changing the way we see the world and our place in it.

There is also the idea people refer to as “stress management.” However, I’ve never liked the idea of stress management as a “pillar of health,” because I see stress as the absence of peace, and finding peace is not about only learning better stress management. This concept is often thought of as a technique that, if perfected, allows us to continue our normal routines, but with a few minor adjustments meant to contain the stress they produce. Through my own life experiences, I think much of the advice about managing our stress is mostly cosmetic, enabling us to stuff stress somewhere deep inside so we can feel like we are handling it, when in fact it’s still there, gnawing away at our physical and mental health.

Stress happens when peace is not present in our lives, and that happens when we are financially burdened, lack a meaningful daily purpose, have limited social connection, aren’t sleeping, and see the world through a lens that makes us feel hopeless, uncertain, and tense (and sometimes angry). To truly deal with our stress, we must restructure our lives in a wholistic way by focusing on all these elements. This is why it’s ultimately easier to start our journey to better health by focusing on food and then exercise. These steps can be taken within the structure of our existing lives, then with success, we can find the motivation to do the harder work required for finding deep inner peace.

I think a key to making this harder change is taking the time to reflect on our lives – and to do so in a wholistic way. This sounds so obvious, yet most of us don’t make time for deep reflection, and when we do consider our lives, we think about its elements in isolation. Yet finding true peace requires wholistic change, addressing all the points I noted above.

We don’t make time for this kind of reflection because we are busy and we live in a habitual way, which discourages thinking beyond the near-term issues involved in our daily routines. As the first step in transformational lifestyle change, I encourage you to make time for reflection, and when you do this, to think wholistically about every aspect of your life. I’m not suggesting you try to change your life in a wholesale way all at once. Effective change should always happen in a stepwise way, one successful step leading to the next. However, by thinking wholistically, you can more easily formulate a strategy that leads to the ultimate goal of deep inner peace.

Kim and I are going through this process now. As we consider the changes we want to make, we have realized that all of them depend on us streamlining our lives in a way that gives us great financial stability, more time, and a sharper focus on what’s most important to us. With this foundation, we can then address all the elements discussed above.

I hope you also might consider a similar journey of reflection and change, whether during a nature walk, quiet time in your living room, or perhaps when you are lying in bed in the early morning hours. This journey is not easy, but it’s often the most difficult ones that yield the greatest benefits. And we can undertake a difficult journey in a manageable and sustainable way if we first can see the big picture—our final destination and the changes necessary to get there—and then walk this path in a step-by-step way, always focusing only on the next step before us.

In peace,

Nelson

Buffalo Pot Pie, by Kim Campbell

I’ve always loved hearty, easy casseroles, and I think that goes back to feeding three active teenagers. We were constantly running to sports practices and games, and I relied on meals I could make ahead and slide into the oven as soon as we got home. Most of all, I wanted plenty of food on the table with no arguing over who got the last serving. Nelson and I both grew up in big families, and we knew that if you didn’t get what you wanted the first time around, there was no guarantee of a second helping.

That’s exactly why I love recipes like this one. It’s the kind of creamy, cozy casserole you can prep ahead, bake when you’re ready, and count on to satisfy everyone at the table. It’s true comfort food, popular with kids and adults alike, and it checks all the boxes: hearty, easy, economical, and just plain fun to eat.

Enjoy it for whatever reason you choose. And if you’re cooking for empty nesters, you may want to cut the recipe in half. Stay warm, friends, and enjoy a cozy casserole dinner with the oven on.

Here is a link to your recipe for Buffalo Pot Pie:

https://plantpurecommunities.org/recipes/buffalo-potpie/

Peaceful Plates,

Kim